Trying to fit into…

1. last year’s jeans you loved wearing when you didn’t have to tuck in your excess belly fat in, without having to secure it with a sturdy belt…
2. a page-turner adventure novel as one of the main characters, the one you can most relate to…
3. the smallest suitcase body-wise, either as a child or a magician’s apprentice…
4. a packed elevator just to go one floor up…
5. a selfie shot of more than enough people without a selfie stick…
6. a group of people whom we call friends just to be accepted…

…has been quite a task in different forms throughout our whole lives. 

I’m not quite sure whether it is the in the human nature or it is just something that has been taught to us since our infancy as we can find the notion even in children’s stories like “The Ugly Duckling” and “Cindrella”

Humans are indeed social animals and can’t go on alone for long without depending on someone. We may need emotional, financial or romantic support along the way but what’s the catch with this “trying to fit in” to a society to be accepted?

The truth is; we are all lonely in an over-crowded world where we are constantly trying to be liked by others whom we see close enough like friends and family. Appreciation is what we seek, but the price we pay is high…and certainly not worth it.

“To be liked or not to be – that is the most important thing…”

We change our appearence, behavior and actions, ceasing to be the real “us”. We become carbon copies of each other, who are actually not enjoying even a minute of joint activity. I’m certainly not talking about being a night out with friends upon random decisions, but planned meet-ups like barbecues, picnics, sightseeing tours or after graduation meet-ups – the cases when you’re not asked but rather ordered like “Jack is bringing the wine, so the dessert is on you!” Noone asks you or anyone to join. Noone is the leader, the planner. You’re all in it as if bound by an ancient, annual curse getting ready for a meaningless ritual! (Perhaps the popularity of liquor in big events is because it dulls your brain and shoots your tolerance levels up). Anyway, if you can’t take part in such events, you’re dead to your friends and will feel left out for the rest of your life (even if you want to feel that way)

I’m lucky to have found a way to exclude myself from such events in my early teenages. The magic word is “maybe”. It’s not a “yes” so you promise nothing, it’s not a “no” because if you say “no” you’ll have to give a reason and there will be constant insisting/nagging. After not showing up to a couple of pre-organised events with a “maybe”, your friends will know the new definition of the word and somehow won’t bother you as long as you use the word to reject participation in such events.

But…why the need? Seriously?

We are not seperate pieces of a giant jigsaw puzzle… We are all individual, complete puzzles…