8 Ways of time travel without a decent time machine…

8 Ways of time travel without a decent time machine…

 

Everyone who knows me knows how I am obsessed with time travel… and those who don’t – will acknowledge it… in time. By reading this little blog post, you will have the secret of time travel without a decent time machine or no machine at all. Proceed with extreme caution as secrets or time itself are not things to meddle with.

Here are the methods:

If you possess an unstable working prototype of a time machine:

  1. Wear appropriate clothes for your desired destination in time, pee until your bladder dries out, step into the machine, sit, set the desired time and pull the lever or hold and press the small red button by the far end of the console. That’s it!
  2. Same steps as described above… you just pee first, then dress up!

If you DO NOT have a time machine:

   1. The Musical Method: If you wish to go to the past, select a year and google the top 100 in that year’s billboards. Close your eyes and play each song starting from the bottom to the top of the list. Hum along if you know the songs! If your intention is to travel into the near future, the same method can help! Just gather up all the cutlery in the house, click on your phone’s voice recorder, and start dropping them one by one onto the kitchen floor. When each piece lands, say what you’ve just seen like “A fork fell down” or “I dropped a knife” in an untrained, monotonous tone (These are essential as they will make up the lyrics). When all the cutlery has been dropped, stop the recorder, plug earphones into your phone, close your eyes, start playing the audio and enjoy!

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Too bad music isn’t in its golden years anymore and it’s getting worse. Just compare 60’s, 70’s or even 80’s, 90’s music to the hit songs in our present.

2. The Photo Effect: Just open your photo album (printed photos work best) and inspect each photo in full detail. Think about how old you were, where you were and who you were with. Then, focus on the tiny details in the background, are the surroundings the same? or have they changed? As you go down the memory lane, you will realize that you made a slight jump to the past. If you do not have a photo album, or want to time travel to places you’ve never been, enter a desired year into your favorite search engine’s search box, click on “images” and there… you have millions of photos to start with. If you wish to time travel into the future, enter the word “mugshots” into a search engine’s search box and enjoy (They look like selfies, don’t they?)

Now, 9 out of every 10 photos seem to be selfies and most of them do not even include faces as wholes. Mostly, they are close-ups of an eye here and a mouth there!

 3. The Photoshop Dilemma: A very similar method to the one above, but this one requires some photo-shopping skills. Travelling to the past? Find a suitable photo of yourself or have a friend take it on the spot and google for a historical background. Once you find it, just merge the two pictures and presto! You are in a trench in World War II. Going to the future? Find a CGI background using the above method and there you are, picking up alien flowers on Mars!

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 4.  Conundrum of Objects: Find a flea market in your town. Go there preferably on foot. Once you are there, explore each stall in detail, pick up objects, feel their energy. Each object has its own “itstory” (We can’t call it “history”, can we?). Take a deep breath, sniff the air of antiquity. Buy something like an old cassette even if you don’t own a player for it. At least you are in contact with something out of your time. For the future, use your search engine skills to find weird and futuristic object photos. Use a 3D printer, to solidify them.

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5. Dream: One of the best ways to travel back or forward in time! Throughout the day, just think about a time and a place and focus on it in your coffee breaks. Your subconscious will get the message. When it’s bedtime, close your eyes and start focusing on what you’ve been focusing on all day. Sleep! When you wake up, you’ll find yourself with pleasant memories (if you can remember your dreams), check the time and discover that you’ve jumped at least a couple of hours forward in time. In some cases, you’ll have -what is seems like- hours of dreaming, but it has only been half-an hour at most. Try lucid dreaming for the best experience…

6. Read: Fortunately, books are abundant nowadays. (Even I, have some free books on the market). If you are a history enthusiast, find a historical novel and get to reading. If you are a sci-fi fan like me, choose an appropriate novel and start reading. In both cases, you’ll be mesmerized into the setting if the book is any good. Relate yourself to any character in the book to maximize the fun!

7. Write: Just like reading, but with a huge advantage! By writing, you create time itself in your stories. You can even find true love in the past or the future, which you have been searching for so long in the present.

8. Watch: Too lazy to read or write? Then, start going through your movie collection. Although stripped off the best parts, most good books are made into films. And strangely enough, this method requires peeing first (as you don’t want an interruption like a bathroom break in the middle of the film), sitting and pressing a button. Anyway, a surround system is a huge plus.

Archaeology of the Present

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Imagine our current civilization ended up in flames; totally wiped out… a few remaining survivors of the human kind (possibly stripped of all advanced technological knowledge and know-how) started all over from scratch.
In a millennium, every advancement is already long forgotten and our civilization at present is regarded as an ancient one, pretty much like ancient Egypt in our era.
The new civilization follows more or less a similar path as ours to flourish. However, some things have never been invented or some ideas have never been thought of. At least, they invent the notion of archaeology; digging up the past (and trying to uncover our secrets).
Let’s do a thought experiment…
It’s the year 2116; a thousand years from now and the future archaeologists uncover the following:
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1. The personal library of a sci-fi enthusiast, which survived a millennium in a nuclear shelter/bunker. All the books that survived are works of fiction…about intergalactic wars, time travel, aliens, etc… and after decades of hard work, they are able to crack the code of our language. What would they think? Would they regard them as works of fiction or consider them as ancient history? We seem to regard every written record of ancient civilizations as real…
2. An email message printed on a browned out paper (actually the paper browned out much later :), containing letters of the alphabet as well as characters like @,#,_,&,* and :). (From the same library mentioned above) Would they combine these symbols into our ancient language and overthink about their function?
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3. A dozen autographed baseball bats by some of the baseball idols of our era dug out from the ruins of a sports shop. Luckily, the UV coating on the bats preserved the signatures from smearing out through ages. What would a baseball bat suggest to a culture who has not invented the concept of sports (for entertainment)? Perhaps, a primitive weapon of war; inscribed with an ancient god’s name to channel divine power to the wielder? How about the sports shop? Would the future archaeologists be happy that they unearthed an ancient armory?
4. A huge, curvy water slide in an abandoned amusement park: An aqueduct?
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5  A bowling ball… Let me be more specific: A size 14, shiny, purple bowling ball. Hmmm… What are the three holes for? For fingers? But why three? Would they think that ancient humans had two less fingers? Oh wait! That’s how we depict some aliens!!!
The moral of this article?
No matter what your intentions are (when you invent or create something), you will most likely to be misunderstood …

How long is time?

A second, a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month or a year…are some of the time related vocabulary invented by us; people, trying to have a global standard in measuring time. It’s a good thing that we had the movement of the sun to base our newest concept on or else we would be timeless in a maelstrom of confusion.

But!

Is each unit of time mentioned above, really the same in length for everyone or are they subjective?

A minute feels like eternity at your first kiss …

Perhaps, we feel that way because 1 minute is 60 seconds…and 60 is more than 1… regardless of the word that follows it.

A minute can also feel much shorter than a millisecond when you’re standing by the deathbed of a loved one.

The same logic can be applied here as 1 minute can be 0.0166666667 hours which is a tiny fraction of a whole.

The moral?

No matter how long it is…a minute is never sufficient.

Men are from Mars.Women, too

No, this article has nothing to do with intersexual relationships. The title is quite literal and if you were hoping to read about relationship secrets, I suggest you hit the back button on your browser and google it using the key words provided above.

This article is all about “panspermia” or the theory that our home planet wasn’t the planet Earth but our building blocks hitched a ride on an asteroid or something and ended up here. 

As I’m not a scientifically inclined being (although I write sci-fi) I will not write about how a planet like Mars was suitable to support life billions of years ago or that it had water at some time along with a decent atmosphere. You can Google these up to satisfy your curiosity. My reasons are totally different and less scientific. Here’s my list of reasons ranking from more credible to totally absurd:

1. The feeling of not belonging, (most people I know have this); or feeling totally alien to Earth: Does the phrase “I’m not from this world” sound familiar? 

2. Getting a suntan and even hurting after prolonged exposure to the sun: Perhaps our bodies have always been accustomed to cooler climates where the sun wouldn’t have such effects on our bodies (like Mars). No other animal on Earth ever complains about sensitive skin. 

3. We are fragile beings suspectible to all kinds of diseases. It’s like the whole planet is trying to wipe us out. We suffer from all kinds of diseases and illnesses from deadly ones to common cold. Common cold? We get sick so easily.

4. Apart from aquatic animals, no other mammals are fur-free like us. We are the odd one out unless all the other animals aren’t the ones native to this world. 

5. Even as newborn babies we are quite defenseless upon birth and have to be constantly taken care of while all the other animals in the animal kingdom adapt to their surroundings in little or no time. Maybe we give birth to our off springs before they are completely developed in the womb and kind of forced out early due to a stronger gravitational force (different from what we were accustomed to)

6. Our constant awe towards stars and space: Space is mostly dark matter, or emptiness yet we are charmed with it everytime we look at the night skies. 

7. All religions have the notion of afterlife and other worlds (heaven and hell?) Be good throughout your life and your reward is heaven or perhaps returning to your home planet in some form?

8. We can’t live in peace with the nature. We are constantly trying to terraform the Earth by annihilating nature and building up comfort zones of concrete, maybe trying to make it feel like the barren lands of rocky Mars?

9. The nomadic gene within: Our desire to travel long distances to get away what we call home and to pursue happiness in remote locations in the name of tourism. 

10. The color connection: Our blood is red so is the Martian soil. 

11. Some people have an unexplainable affection towards Bruno Mars. 

I’m not expecting you to believe every word I wrote. However, I’m expecting you to look at the sky tonight and give it a moment of thought…

Why I am obsessed with time travel… and why you should be, too

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Being an avid reader/writer of cool science fiction stories, admiring traveling and having very little money most of the time could very well be used to describe some of my traits. I know I sound like a broke geek with the above description but I assure you I have a lot of other non-geeky qualities and likes, such as;….errr…..hmmm…..well….fantasizing about historical events.

Ok, now you can see how  my traits and time traveling meet up at a common point. Here’s why I can’t seem to keep myself away from thinking or writing about it:

  • I’ve always been a time-traveller, right from my birth to my current age. Although, I’ve only managed to travel forward in time in this period, it’s still a thing I’ve been doing so well for so long. And guess what? You’re just like me! (unless you are Benjamin Button)
  • There are endless possibilities in time travel and a whole, massive history of interesting times and events you can visit. You can run along dinosaurs, be on the Titanic when it sank, witness your grandpa hitting on your grannie or simply watch a good football match that you’ve missed,…live….
  • Paradoxes! Who doesn’t love a good time-travel paradox? Imagine, what would happen if you went back in time and shot Hitler before he rose into power? Hmmm…since you changed history by killing him, he wouldn’t have risen to power and we wouldn’t have heard about him in our time in the first place so that you couldn’t have gone back in time to kill him….Nice, right? What if you accidentally killed one of your ancestors? It’s good thought practice. Isn’t it?
  • You can read or write without paying attention to grammar as the statement “I’ll see you yesterday” would still be technically correct.
  • Believe me, there is always a good story in time travel. and tragedy. and mystery. and humor. and… every kind of emotion that you want to experience.
  • The best thing is that when you (read or write about) time travel, you won’t be spending a single penny. It’s indeed the cheapest way of vagabonding.

Can’t time-travel? Then, live your life to the fullest, make excellent memories, make love, take selfies (not necessarily in that order) and revisit your memories, thinking about all when you get older.

Future technology #165 -Selpheres: Selfie Spheres replace Selfie Sticks

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By the summer of 2019, you won’t need long, monkey-like arms or metal rods to take good selfies.The Selpheres, which will be in the form of mini death stars, will float around and take snapshots of you, for you. They will be programmable and will have a direct link to your smart phone, sending the best shots for you to choose from. All you will have to do is put on your best smile and look at the bashed-in spot on the sphere, where the camera lens is located.

A year later, an upgraded version Selphere S (free software upgrade with proof of purchase) will be on the market, which will be capable of 3D photo rendering, video shooting and adding cheesy frames around your photos.Moreover, upon enabling the “duck face” or “fish gape” functions, selfie lovers won’t have to pose like their favorite cute creatures. The changes will be automatically applied to the pics, preventing the need for a plastic surgeon’s scalpel in the future, for having done so many face twists when taking selfies.

Source: My wild imagination

Future technology #243 -Eye Lens Filters for enhanced view

By 2027, eye implants in the form of lenses, featuring filters (like Instagram) will be quite possible and popular especially amongst social media addicts. The early lenses will only have eight inter-switchable filters and tints, allowing the viewer to enjoy a scene in various forms. More advanced versions of the lens, which will be available the following year, will have additional modes; like the night-view or the kaleidoscope feature, enabling implanted people seeing the world as never seen before.

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