Social Vampires

Social Vampires

emotionalvampire81

We all have that one friend, who sucks the energy out of our souls… They are most probably not your best friend as they are nobody’s best friend but still you may come accross them quite often. Whenever you meet them, they start telling you these terrible jokes, raving about uneventful events or asking for your opinion without giving you time or even a chance to interact. You listen and as it goes on, your liveliness withers and all the energy you had moments ago, abandons you without a forwarding address. They are better known as “energy vampires”, but I like to call them “social vampires” as I am doubtful that they could feed on the pure energy output of a simple generator. You should definitely avoid them but how do you know if someone is indeed a social vampire. Luckily, they are quite similar to ancient vampires in the lore and can be identified easily by using one or more of the methods below:

  1. Just like real vamps, social vampires have the ability to hypnotize their prey. You listen to their nonsense and somehow have little desire to leave. As they are highly selfish and really don’t care about others, watch out for those who jabber about themselves all the time…

  2. Real vamps don’t have reflections in mirrors. Social vamps are quite the opposite. (They like mirrors and do have reflections, but luckily, they are easily identifiable, as they are the blurry ones in the picture). If you are in a group, take a couple of selfies and be on the lookout for the one with the biggest grin and a blurry body. Freshly fed with energy, they would be the fidgety ones, as their bodies try to break down the excess energy and have a hard time keeping their body still.

  3. Another similarity between the real deal and the social vampires, is the ability to alter memories. You never realize why you gradually felt exhausted and depressed after a couple of hours spent with a social vamp, and at the end of the day, you never blame that friend for the physical or the emotional drain. If you can’t find any reason for your sudden mood change at the end of the day, look nowhere else other than the soul sucker for the answer.

  4. Still in doubt? Stalk their social media accounts for a bit. If their feeds are full of long depressing stories about themselves or if they had made hundreds of gibberish comments for every single photo posted by their “friends”, you have found your social vamp. The similarity? Well, real vampires, too, tend to moan about themselves a lot if you befriend them; talking about how immortality is boredom for life or that how, being not able to stroll under the sun is depressing and so on.

 

Now that we can identify social vamps, how do we defeat them?

 

Remember, they are just like real vampires. Although neither a braid of garlic nor a cross  will help you defeat them, a wooden stake through the heart will work just as well. 🙂

The pros and the pros of dating friends

The attraction to physical beauty makes only one side of the three-dimensional medallion in dating: The rim and the edge; the almost nonexistent part. The rest is all about honesty, trust, mutual understanding and having fun in whatever a couple is doing (from having sex to watching the grass grow in shared silence). Those qualities listed above create the chemistry between couples more than anything else. 

Nowadays, more and more people seek only their desired physical qualities in their partners… but that is never enough on its own. If that was the case, people would wildly date Picasso paintings or the full moon in a pitch black night, as that’s the real beauty in its purest form.

Becoming friends with a loved-one first is a must although there is always the risk of falling into the friend zone. But the concept of “being in the friend zone” was invented by those who have never experienced the pleasures of such a relationship in the first place. They accuse you of “trying to screw a friend” when there are so many other ways that you can screw a friend, which are far more destructive. 

I am not implying on dating every friend you have. However, the tiniest physical attraction you might have towards a friend is just a start in having the relationship of your life…

And on the plus side, you never get to lose your friend even if the romantic endeavor is over, as friends tend to stay in your life no matter what.

Trust me! I have experience….