Longing for Belonging: Why we feel the need to Connect

Longing for Belonging: Why we feel the need to Connect

As soon as we are born, we are unconsciously forced to belong to various groups, concepts, people, places or ideas! It only gets worse as we grow up.

It all starts with gender grouping; the blues versus the pinks. Parents decorate their rooms and buy them tiny toddler clothes matching the relevant color code even before the baby is born. The first toys are distinguishing, too; dolls for girls and die-cast cars, squirt guns or soldiers for boys. No wonder neither gender can truly understand the other later in adulthood as they were never let free enough to share a common experience in earlier play times. Just observe the animal world closest to us! Can you figure out the gender of a nearby stray cat or a dog just by watching them play? Both sexes of both animals seem to be enjoying whether they are playing with a ball of yarn or fetching a thrown stick. Shouldn’t we have chosen different toys for our dear pets of opposite genders?

Image Credit: Smithsonian Magazine

When a baby reaches the age of perception, they are told to behave in certain ways in accordance with the set of unspoken norms of the first group they were forced into. Boys are strong! Boys don’t cry! Girls are princesses! Girls must be pretty! Later, the very same gender group also makes an attempt to choose the child’s future profession. Boys are encouraged to be soldiers, constructors and engineers while girls are chased into professions mostly involving interior design, healthcare and culinary arts. Luckily, more and more occupations are becoming gender-less now, such as teachers, doctors, lawyers, artists and scientists. Perhaps because education, fighting for rights, arts and science are far more vital to fit into one sex… or a group..

Other initial forced groupings include religion and national identity, which solely depends on the geography we are born into…

All contemporary religions promote one God, yet we have numerous religions constantly at cold war with each other! It’s like living on the same old planet, but believing that we live in the multi verse of a distant star. Sadly, the distance among our beliefs is far more than any distant planet we might one day travel to. Again in our nearby surroundings, we don’t observe an organised army of mice (whose DNA is 98% similar to human DNA) marching to destroy a group of chimpanzees (whose DNA is 99% similar to human DNA) just because they want to make them accept that cheese is better than bananas!

We live on one planet, where we share common resources like the air, the seas and oceans and forests, yet there are over 200 countries ready to go to war with each other if a severe conflict takes place, willing to contaminate or even destroy the shared necessities of a better shared future. Militaristic tendencies, diplomatic shenanigans and narcissistic leaders are directing our planet into a gradual demise, but we won’t even care if the group we belong to, is victorious in the end. Most works of science fiction tells us stories about an alien invasion of Earth. Why are we assuming the aliens are so violent, land grabbing fanatics and resource hunters like us? Just like the rat-chimpanzee example previously mentioned, mice won’t form armies to claim land and resources from chimpanzees. They will coexist provided they aren’t each other’s natural prey and predator. On a small note; we share half (about 50%) of our DNA with bananas and we will probably share less with aliens from distant corners of our galaxy, yet we still assume they will visit Earth to conquer it!

The urge to belong into a group or groups never stops and this time it becomes willingly.

We support foreign sports teams across the globe, we vote for a political party even if we don’t agree to most of its projects. We establish fan clubs for certain celebrities, we become activists or pacifists, flat-earthers, heavy metal groupies, Cthulhu worshipers, hard core gamers, conspiracy theorists and more… We were forced into certain groups after we were born and perhaps later in life, we are just trying to expand our options to connect with others. Otherwise, how can a Muslim woman born in the Middle East connect with a Christian man living across the globe?

The lengths we go, just to connect!!!

Vampire Philosophy: Thought Shard no:411, On God and Religion…

Vampire Philosophy: Thought Shard no:411, On God and Religion…

Throughout history, philosophers have been tackling problems relating to a variety of subjects like existence, society, political theory, ethics, values, art, epistemology etc. As most of philosophy is directly questioning aspects of human life and its relations to other matters like the ones mentioned earlier, it can be objective only up to a degree as we are all human after all. What we lack is total objectivity, which can only be possible by viewing these matters from a completely different perspective; a non-human one. This series of texts (recordings) attempts to question us from a unique perspective with a vampiric touch to all matters that matter to us…

Here goes…

vampires2

Greetings Human!

The crystal shard you’ve just found is one of the many thought shards belonging to the Strigoi; the vampires as you commonly name us and its purpose is to transfer our philosophy to you when you have evolved enough to understand it. The crystal thought shards were recorded hundreds of years ago and possess the capacity of adapting to your current understanding by accumulating data from its surroundings as time passes and updating themselves in a lexical and intellectual manner to make a smooth transfer of our philosophy, making it a version you may comprehend if you have an open mind. I am Adonis Loscemus of Cumae. This is thought shard number 411, recorded in 1158 AD, based on our perception of God and religion.

Mankind, or better known and labelled as “Sophisticated cattle”, by our kind – Strigoi, has a concrete belief the whole universe was created by God. One god for everything! A single entity capable of creating all life itself; from lichens, flora and animals, to even us vampires as well as all the way to beings of other galactic realms. The belief in favor of existence of one god is irrelevant at this point. As you might have guessed, the human race is just cattle to feed upon for most Strigoi. The question I want to pose is, if there’s God for you, is it the same one as your cattle’s? Do our sophisticated cattle believe their cattle have a god of their own? Like…

The sheep god?
The cow king?
The Parthenon of calves?

Or are your cattle atheists?
Can creations that do not have the capacity of sparking a belief in their minds be held responsible and labelled as heretics?

As for us, Strigoi deists believe that “mankind” was created by the one and only God to feed the Strigoi, but that’s surely not what the humankind believes; to be created just to be consumed by a superior race can’t be the God’s great plan. But, humans have no trouble believing that sheep exist solely for that reason.

You see yourselves as God’s children and pray and worship God on a regular basis, yet as the biological offspring of your mundane parents, you never think of praying and worshiping them. Just a bit of love, following their teachings and being a good person is more than enough. Are you showing off to be in the good books of God? And if God sees everything, don’t you think your true intentions are not as honest?

You build houses of God for a display of your religion’s power. Yet, isn’t the whole world, and the nature surrounding it, God’s house? Not to mention you believe in one God but multiple religions… all fighting for different versions of the same glorified outcome.

You shall not kill… unless it’s in the name of God…
Then, starting wars and taking lives that God forbade, suddenly becomes a cleansing.

The notion of God exists for us Strigoi too, but it’s far away from what you perceive now. You lack the commonsense of seeing everything on a greater scale. If God is the creator of the whole universe, why downscale and limit the divine just to Earth.

The next thought shard can be found in the Lascaux cave inside the borders of modern France.

The end of transfer…

vampire-philosophy

Scripted Lives; 5 Acts, not a play…

Scripted Lives; 5 Acts, not a play…

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players…
                                                                                   William Shakespeare

typewriter-1462562605lig

Act 1…
The man sees an attractive, young woman sitting alone at the bar. He moves to a better vantage point where he can see her face clearly and throws her a sneak look accompanied by a soft smile. The woman smiles back without breaking eye contact (If she doesn’t, the man starts from square one with a different actor). It’s the cue for the man to make a move. He does.

Act 2…
The man engages in small talk about the weather in the last few days. The woman agrees with a few comments of her own. They seem to have an excellent time although neither is into meteorology. The man offers to buy her a drink… one more of whatever she’s having. They start laughing at everything. Being funny ceases to be a requirement after this point.

Act 3…
They leave the bar together and go to whoever’s house is closer. They have sex. The man whispers how beautiful the woman is into the nearest ear. The woman instructs the man to go faster… or harder… or however she wants it.

Act 4…
They discover common hobbies, feel safe and loved in each other’s arms, and decide to go for a romantic relationship. The man buys her presents, the woman makes frequent surprises to him. The love between them is so profound that jealousy starts ruling the relationship!!! (Really ironic this one… As when couples love each other, they should develop trust not jealousy). They decide to get married though. After all, marriage is a sort of guarantee that they won’t cheat on one another, right?

Act 5…
As they can’t stand each other after countless fits; the man and the woman go for a divorce. After the mourning phase (or the relief), each return to Act 1 separately and play the same game expecting different results.

Just like theatrical plays, the illusion called life relies heavily on inter-human relationships…

Now, stop here for a moment and think about how you interact with other people…

Is every decision you make, truly yours? Does every word you say, belong to you?

or

Do we make choices in our relationships with others and carry on upon pre-taught thinking?

Acting out scenes with pre-written scripts like some untalented actors?

There are various books on pick up lines out in the market for the socially-challenged… Pieces of script, just in need of personal fillers.

Imagine reading a book or watching a film for the thousandth time… knowing the ending, but still trying to enjoy it, hoping the outcome would be different. It’s sheer disappointment as it’s the same title with a different set of characters after all.

Why do we do this?

Why do we keep on living li(v)es of who we are not?

The Near-Death of Decent Content

The Near-Death of Decent Content

This article is a premature obituary of decent artistic content… in every aspect of our lives…

Decent Content in Entertainment and Art Forms

Early 21st century – 2020 (and ongoing/down-falling)

We have arrived at a crucial point in our mundane timeline when real and engaging content started slipping out of our existence at an ever accelerating pace… replaced by uninteresting shenanigans of the modern, content-less society.

Good content does not pay anymore…
Content does not pay anymore…
It has lost all its value…

Here’s why:

Leonardo created “La Giaconda (The Mona Lisa)” in a period from 1503 to 1517…it’s still the most visited attraction ever in one of the biggest museums in the world…

Circa 1500, Michelangelo carved out “David” giving life to a 5-meter (17 ft.), 6+ tons of marble… which still stands the test of time with all its glory…

And let’s not forget about other works of art created before the 21st century like “La Guernica” by Picasso or “The Scream” by Edward Munch… those were the times when art became alive…

In 2019… we had a browned-out banana taped onto a wall sold for $120000… The proud buyer and current owner defended the masterpiece as “… the unicorn of the art world…” Not only that he could have created a better piece with a fresh banana costing him less than a dollar, what would he do when the banana decomposes completely? Replacing the banana at regular intervals would certainly kill the originality of the fruity masterpiece…no?

Banart4
The Priceless Banana Art…

The sad thing is that renaissance art masterpieces or any good art is truly appreciated only by a handful of people… the others most likely swarm museums just to take selfies with the art, and to make their social media followers/friends jealous.

This is the death of art

Now, let’s have a quick look at the demise of writing… mainly script writing for contemporary Hollywood blockbusters…

Imagine a time 150 years + in the future when the only technological breakthrough seems to be modernized tanning beds capable of curing every disease while the world seems to have stuck in the 90s technology otherwise…

Or… a group of scientists land on a hostile alien world and one of them decides to pat a viper-like hissing monster with affection… and no… he wasn’t mind-controlled. How did he ever become a man of science anyway? Everything’s possible on big screen!

Or… a thin, feather weight ex-special forces operative lady takes on multiple trained assassins three times her size in hand-to-hand combat with a gaping gunshot wound in her leg.

Or… two science-enthusiast buddies invent a time machine and choose to travel 17 years into the past to allegedly stop a world-wide catastrophic event which started 25 years ago.

There are tons of examples of poor writing like the ones above in nearly all recent movies. Here’s the funny thing… all the titles exemplified previously have IMDb ratings of 6 and above. As people who gave high ratings are highly affectionate towards an actor or two in the production, no matter how bad the script is or how horribly the character is portrayed. Can you guess the titles of these three blockbusters (the last one is a series and not so popular like others)?

Music hasn’t been doing great either…

We tend to listen to the latest crap not because of musical or lyrical quality, but just because it blocks the ear-assassinating everyday clamor which is only a tad worse than what we pay for…

Right? Or… why would we just keep listening to band of mismatched instruments out-of-beat with lyrics like:

“Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess why they call it window pane…”

(I know I am going to be roasted by Eminem fans… but the word play on “pane” and “pain” is unbearable.)

Or…

“Are we humans?
Or are we dancer?”

(Or are you just untalented musicians with bad grammar?)

Lastly, check your favorite social media for good content… or just some content… I bet you’ll find none other than Instagram posts showing floor tiles with the tip of the big toe of the artist penetrating the shot from a corner with the message: “Good morning y’all!” Thousands of likes guaranteed…

floortoe

Or…

A tweet from a celebrity saying:

“Today is Saturday, tomorrow will be Sunday and then Monday.”

It must have been very informative, enlightening and inspiring indeed as it got tens of thousands of likes and nearly three thousand retweets shortly.

Or…

A young, good-looking youtuber making thousands of dollars monthly by blabbering about her dull daily routine.

So, what can be done to revive decent content? Is it too late?

Not yet. But it’s getting to a point of no return.

Just try not to appreciate horrible content because someone with good looks created it. The more we appreciate bad content, the more they will be encouraged to create even worse content. Support true artists for their art and good content (not because they are cool/famous/good-looking) as they need some boost to be even better.

Why we need Drama and Pain in Life

Why we need Drama and Pain in Life

Routine

Our lives are destined to get dull as soon as we’re born. As routines take over our childlike imagination when we step into adulthood, it gets even more boring; getting up, taking a shower, having breakfast, going to work, having lunch, coming back, watching TV with the usual wine glass in hand and going to bed for the next same day. That’s also basically why we all love weekends or off days, as they break the dullness of the routines we all loathe. We can go camping one weekend and stay home doing nothing the next. Any out-of-the-ordinary activity will make us feel good and boost our morale.
Routines are boring whether it’s the activities or our emotional state. We crave for changes subconsciously.
And that’s exactly why we need ups and down in our emotional state. To break the cycle… as against order, we are hopeless rebels inside.
Picture our heartbeat lines going up and down with each breath we take… a beating heart is the means of survival while a flatline kills us. Our emotional line tends to work the same way, never wanting to be on a dull, single flatline.
We make bad decisions all the time even if we are not complete idiots, choose abusive people to be our one-sided love affairs and torment ourselves for pleasure at every instant we can…

 

We are indeed drama addicts, inflicting self-pain just to break routine.

 

 

The Invention of Monsters

The Invention of Monsters

Since the very beginning of human existence, we have been inventing monsters of all sorts to fit our specific needs; ranging from scaring kids, all the way to entertaining millions of adults over the silver screen. Monsters have to be invented for various reasons regarding our weird norms of society.

Here are some reasons why we invent monsters:

The Minotaur, harpies (Herpes is a different, unrelated modern version), sirens, Cerberus…

… first enter our world at least 3000 years ago, merely invented to tell stories of heroism in a dark world… perhaps to spark hope in the most hopeless situations. In a vicious world of constant war mongering, heroes have to be poked to arise…

hydra-1980037_1280

Black Annis, Baba Yaga, Namahage, the Boogeyman…

… are the first monsters we encounter in our childhood bedtime stories. They are allegedly the ones feeding on misbehaving children. It is an irony though; to invent monsters to embed fear into our children’s minds to refrain them from doing stupid stuff that might harm them, only to try to convince our beloved ones that monsters don’t exist afterwards. Children are highly susceptible beings armed with an amazing imagination in a world still alien to them. So, it’s no surprise they counteract the newly-introduced fake monsters by inventing imaginary friends whom they can fight these monsters with or just to blame the invisible buddies if they do something wrong to anger their parents.

The devil… and all the hellish demons…

… the devil is the adult version of monsters described just above that goes after adults who misbehave. And, the demons are merely the adult versions of our childhood imaginary friends whom we can fight with or blame if things go south.

Aliens, vampires, werewolves, witches, ghosts, succubi…

… become popular in our adult lives for the sake of adding flavour to our miserably boring lives. In our adulthood, the magical life we first encountered withers away as we start living to graduate, find a place to live, go to work, pay bills, reproduce and get engaged in never-ending routines. Survival had never been this dull in our entire history, so we welcome these work-of-fiction monsters with open arms. And although some of them are derived from mythology, we upgrade or modify them to suit our contemporary taste hence shiny and attractive vampires or alien cockroaches whom we fear and loathe their earthly counterparts. Monsters have become entertainment.

Sociopaths, rapists, racists et al…

… are the real monsters we have been ignoring. They do the most damage to us, but they are not really feared or credited as the others. Is it because they are real?

Real real?

Redefining the Laws of Attraction for Love for the Modern Society

Redefining the Laws of Attraction for Love for the Modern Society

attraction

Warning: The following article has little or no relation to “Laws of attraction for the universe”

This piece of writing is all about how we pick our partners in relationships, how we fake ourselves and reflect a desired version of ourselves much like a peacock in its prime. At first, we tend to show others what we are actually not. Then, try hard to change each other in our image of a perfect partner, but weren’t their initial qualities what attracted us in the first place?

What we are trying to do in our romantic endeavors, fits Marcel Proust’s definition of love:

No doubt very few people understand the purely subjective nature of the phenomenon that we call love, or how it creates, so to speak, a supplementary person, distinct from the person whom the world knows by the same name, a person most of whose constituent elements are derived from ourselves.”

Anyway,

How is it that we are attracted to certain people right away?

Is it…

the first sight?
the initial smell?
the very first touch?
their intellect? … sense of humor?
the way they talk?… walk?… smile?
having the same interests and dreams?
sharing similar agonies and suffering the same way?

 

Or… is it the combination of some of the above?

 

I believe everyone has their own subconscious priorities when it comes to attraction. However, in the era of social media, our priorities can easily be fooled…

Here’s why:

Sight or looks:

The importance of sight or looks should have come to an end as everyone looks good nowadays; taking advantage of technology, filters, editing on top of the freedom of being able to take many shots before choosing the most unnatural one and posting it online. This also makes the competition fierce as illusion surpasses beauty and the unlucky ones are the hidden beauties with little or no competence in photo editing…

It was extensive makeup, smart clothes and outstanding photo angles in the last couple of decades, but now it’s all combined with social media photo skills…

Smell:

Each one of us has their own distinct smell mostly regarding what we eat and how often we bath. As vanilla scented thugs and flora reeking divas roam the streets, frequent bathers preferring to use soap when bathing and wearing no perfume afterwards are on the losing side of the attraction war. But, perfume is like a mask. Nobody can wear it 24/7. The revelation of sour cheese aromatic feet and uncooked onion flavoured arm pits bring us to our senses after a warm, sunny day outdoors.

Intellect, interests and dreams:

Nobody wants to go on a date with a dumb person, so people tend to over exaggerate their intellectual levels by either talking about their field of expertise all the time or blabbering about a recent post they came across on the internet without fact checking.

As newly flirting couples discover how similar their interests are, they’re immediately drawn to their partner with a magical bond. They think they have found their soul mates… but little do they know that each person is making up some of the stuff only to be liked by their partner. Sharing the same dreams is more or less the same. “Dreams can change” is just a lame excuse.

But… it’s not all bad as there are things where we can’t be fooled…

Like a surprise genuine smile, a soul penetrating gaze and touch… When we hug someone and enclose their bodies into ours, we just feel if the person’s feelings are genuine or not, thanks to softly twitching muscles under the meat suit that we barely feel or the equally overwhelming hug-back we receive. Try to caress the house cat and feel it hum like a generator under your touch to feel the full sensation.

Any relationship based on the initial falsified versions of both parties tend to fail miserably in the end. Our feelings for the love of our lives expire just like some stale crackers long forgotten at the back of kitchen shelves as our true images take over. We show a different, a fake version of ourselves to others initially and ironically expect the others not to do that to us. We idolize our deepest fantasies not the people who are only human after all. Unfortunately, the candle lit by a fake (person) in a pitch black night can only survive until the daylight.

The moral?

There’s no moral if we just stick to our seemingly boring ourselves right from the beginning so that we don’t have to pretend afterwards.

Abortion of the Inner Child

Abortion of the Inner Child

innerchild

We are born as small, cute and cuddly creatures; totally naked as there’s nothing to hide or be ashamed of, in this new, alien world. Soon as we start growing up, we display our emotions in the forms of genuine laughters or cries as honesty is always default at earlier ages. We are amazed by fireworks, cartoons etc. and believe in fairies, angels, monsters…

As children, we have huge dreams although our under-grown bodies have very limited capabilities. We are taught how to poop for instance. We think we can accomplish anything, but we are never given a chance. Our dreams get older and wither much faster than our bodies and brains.

Just as we reach our golden ages, we find out that we have to go to school and blend with the society and its unspoken rules. Just like all the junk in Pandora’s box, school teaches us useful stuff like reciting the periodic table!, as well as what’s right according to them and how to lie. All the contents of the education box are unleashed into our spongy, egg-shelled minds. Still, it never teaches us how to make deep, honest connections with others and be happy in life.

Late school era friendships start relying on selfish and personal interests. Most of us have friends so that we can show the world we are better than our buddies. We become jealous beings which will actually be the force that drives us into struggling to achieve so-called success in later life.

We graduate. We get jobs, routine becomes our thing. We work hard to afford things we don’t really need. We get bored and boring at the same time and start judging the few people, who are still clinging onto their dreams and inner child, as being immature and not acting their age. Perhaps it’s the big ball of fury and jealousy they have against us (Yes, I am with child) just because they have had an untimely abortion of their inner child.

We finally reach an age when most people expect us to die. It’s only then, we revert back to our childhood and do stuff which is considered stupid by the norms of the modern society. Luckily, old age is a great excuse to be truly ourselves just like back when we were children. But, in fact we have missed a whole chunk (the long, middle part) of our lives. The inner child has been reborn but sadly it doesn’t have much time now as it’s connected to our physical bodies. We never die alone in the end.

Magic ceased to exist for most people long ago whereas it’s all around us… just give a long hug to an upset person without uttering gibberish like “I know what you feel” or talk to your plants daily and observe the change. We are all magicians if we believe we are.

So, next time you see a child disguised in an adult meat suit,

…helplessly trying to tie their trainers…

Or…

…gaping with awe to their surroundings in a toddler’s toy shop…

Or…

…smiling upon listening to a well-known fairy tale they had heard 100 times before…

Or…

…cooking in the messiest way possible…

Just look them in the eye and hug them.

Love is all we need after all.

The Illusion of Freedom

The Illusion of Freedom
iStock-491714624

 

Freedom exists in…


… schoolbooks,
… dictionaries,
… fairy tales,
… video games,
… dreams,

 

Or

 

… in the little daily choices we make, like having a pizza for lunch or going for a burger… and that’s only if our dietary restrictions allow us…

 

For more complex choices , the society we’ve been forced to live in by so called ‘free will’ makes the decisions…

 

With friendly imperatives starting with “Don’t…”

 

  • “…wear that…”
  • “…eat that…”
  • “…drink (that)…”
  • “…smoke (that)…”
  • “…be different…”
  • “…be weird, people are watching…”

 

All the demonstrative ‘that’ chunks uttered above vaguely indicate that they were actually remote choices of both the wrong-doer and their angelic companion bound by the unspoken rules of the society we may feel so detached from.

 

Most of us have the illusion of ‘being free as birds’, but the question is “Are birds really free?”

 

“Are they?”

 

They can fly, but so can we… by planes…

 

And that sums about everything they can do freely. They can’t swim, dive, run, write, make instrumental music, paint or have a pizza takeout etc.

 

So, why does it feel like they are the free ones?

Locked in our own Prison

FullSizeRender

Over a 7 billion souls on Earth, with over a 7 billion distinctive characters, yet each person behaves and acts in unison defined by one set of outdated rules: The norms of society.

People laugh and cry as society dictates them to… even implying when and where to show joy or despair.

We spend our hard-earned cash by joining the race to get the jobs noone really wants. Getting involved in unleashing creativity like doing arts, crafts, music, writing, film-making does not pay, having connections do… we do everything to please the society and just to be accepted.

Freedom exists only in schoolbooks, yet everyone is directed into thinking they’re free as a bird. But, aren’t birds are freer in so many ways we can’t anticipate? They can fly forward, backward, up and down demolishing physical boundaries and… and they’re never judged for any action by their own kind. There are bird parks where they live in peace but never societies where they’re stripped off what they are. And yet again, we have the expression “bird-brained” to look down on them in a world where they literally look down on us.

Even the language tricks us: “Free will” is two words in which the latter can be considered as an indication of the future… meaning not now, maybe never. We live in a dystopia disguised as an utopia… where there are no “Free Won’t”s… not even in the language.

The society deceives us, breaks us and shapes us as if we were mass produced. Some unaware people may beg to differ but actually we “differ to beg” for so many things that we want happening in our lives. Them; acceptance… us; total freedom.

But, how? How do we achieve total freedom?

Here are some ideas:

1. Be totally honest with everyone even if you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Wounds heal but deception does not. Besides, total honesty removes any kind of communicative barrier.

2. Have no expectations from anyone, anytime. Expectations only bring disappointments but receiving without expecting is true bliss.

3. Treat your happiness as a treasure. Treat your unhappiness to feel better. If you are happy, you make everyone around you happy. It’s highly contagious.

4. Watch kids and learn from them. They can do many things that we long for.

5. Try humor if everything else fails. Try it if everything goes well, too. Humor is essential.