The Invention of Monsters

The Invention of Monsters

Since the very beginning of human existence, we have been inventing monsters of all sorts to fit our specific needs; ranging from scaring kids, all the way to entertaining millions of adults over the silver screen. Monsters have to be invented for various reasons regarding our weird norms of society.

Here are some reasons why we invent monsters:

The Minotaur, harpies (Herpes is a different, unrelated modern version), sirens, Cerberus…

… first enter our world at least 3000 years ago, merely invented to tell stories of heroism in a dark world… perhaps to spark hope in the most hopeless situations. In a vicious world of constant war mongering, heroes have to be poked to arise…

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Black Annis, Baba Yaga, Namahage, the Boogeyman…

… are the first monsters we encounter in our childhood bedtime stories. They are allegedly the ones feeding on misbehaving children. It is an irony though; to invent monsters to embed fear into our children’s minds to refrain them from doing stupid stuff that might harm them, only to try to convince our beloved ones that monsters don’t exist afterwards. Children are highly susceptible beings armed with an amazing imagination in a world still alien to them. So, it’s no surprise they counteract the newly-introduced fake monsters by inventing imaginary friends whom they can fight these monsters with or just to blame the invisible buddies if they do something wrong to anger their parents.

The devil… and all the hellish demons…

… the devil is the adult version of monsters described just above that goes after adults who misbehave. And, the demons are merely the adult versions of our childhood imaginary friends whom we can fight with or blame if things go south.

Aliens, vampires, werewolves, witches, ghosts, succubi…

… become popular in our adult lives for the sake of adding flavour to our miserably boring lives. In our adulthood, the magical life we first encountered withers away as we start living to graduate, find a place to live, go to work, pay bills, reproduce and get engaged in never-ending routines. Survival had never been this dull in our entire history, so we welcome these work-of-fiction monsters with open arms. And although some of them are derived from mythology, we upgrade or modify them to suit our contemporary taste hence shiny and attractive vampires or alien cockroaches whom we fear and loathe their earthly counterparts. Monsters have become entertainment.

Sociopaths, rapists, racists et al…

… are the real monsters we have been ignoring. They do the most damage to us, but they are not really feared or credited as the others. Is it because they are real?

Real real?

Social Vampires

Social Vampires

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We all have that one friend, who sucks the energy out of our souls… They are most probably not your best friend as they are nobody’s best friend but still you may come accross them quite often. Whenever you meet them, they start telling you these terrible jokes, raving about uneventful events or asking for your opinion without giving you time or even a chance to interact. You listen and as it goes on, your liveliness withers and all the energy you had moments ago, abandons you without a forwarding address. They are better known as “energy vampires”, but I like to call them “social vampires” as I am doubtful that they could feed on the pure energy output of a simple generator. You should definitely avoid them but how do you know if someone is indeed a social vampire. Luckily, they are quite similar to ancient vampires in the lore and can be identified easily by using one or more of the methods below:

  1. Just like real vamps, social vampires have the ability to hypnotize their prey. You listen to their nonsense and somehow have little desire to leave. As they are highly selfish and really don’t care about others, watch out for those who jabber about themselves all the time…

  2. Real vamps don’t have reflections in mirrors. Social vamps are quite the opposite. (They like mirrors and do have reflections, but luckily, they are easily identifiable, as they are the blurry ones in the picture). If you are in a group, take a couple of selfies and be on the lookout for the one with the biggest grin and a blurry body. Freshly fed with energy, they would be the fidgety ones, as their bodies try to break down the excess energy and have a hard time keeping their body still.

  3. Another similarity between the real deal and the social vampires, is the ability to alter memories. You never realize why you gradually felt exhausted and depressed after a couple of hours spent with a social vamp, and at the end of the day, you never blame that friend for the physical or the emotional drain. If you can’t find any reason for your sudden mood change at the end of the day, look nowhere else other than the soul sucker for the answer.

  4. Still in doubt? Stalk their social media accounts for a bit. If their feeds are full of long depressing stories about themselves or if they had made hundreds of gibberish comments for every single photo posted by their “friends”, you have found your social vamp. The similarity? Well, real vampires, too, tend to moan about themselves a lot if you befriend them; talking about how immortality is boredom for life or that how, being not able to stroll under the sun is depressing and so on.

 

Now that we can identify social vamps, how do we defeat them?

 

Remember, they are just like real vampires. Although neither a braid of garlic nor a cross  will help you defeat them, a wooden stake through the heart will work just as well. 🙂