The Curse of Being an Empath

The Curse of Being an Empath

emotions

Fueled by TV shows or comics, we all fantasised about becoming super heroes as children… Some of us wanted to fly, some wished to be invisible while some indecisive others went back and forth; having a hard time choosing from a range of super powers like mind reading, teleportation, breathing underwater, bending elements (thanks for this one Avatar!) etc… but none of us ever wanted to possess the power to fix the world… especially the broken people roaming it.

When we grew up into adulthood, some of our super-power embedded childhood dreams came true as we walked down the career path to became firefighters, cops, doctors, teachers etc…. in other words; realistic superheroes of the modern age. But still, none of these careers involved fixing broken people (Unfortunately, nobody considers psychologists as superheroes).

Enter the scene “Empaths”: the human aerials for human emotions, believing that our only mission in this miserable world is to make people happy. We are modern superheroes, too. The only difference is that we didn’t choose to be empaths; or in other words, to suffer by embracing others’ screwed up emotions. As empaths we literally feel what others feel… we are often attracted by emotionally scarred people and try to fix them by performing our art. The happier we make people, the happier we become as we take in positive feelings as well.

Sounds good?

Then, how come it’s a curse?

Imagine sitting peacefully in a not so-crowded cafe sipping your drink in a self-induced bliss. However, it’s close to lunchtime and suddenly the cafe starts swarming with people of all sorts. All the empty tables around you are taken and clamour starts running rampage… it’s not the gibberish mix of sounds bothering you… it’s the uproar of the alien emotions flowing into your mind all at once just like looking right into the Aleph of mixed feelings. You look to your right, see three men in suits, check them out one by one as anger, greed and envy starts crawling into your soul in the same order of appearance. You turn your head to the left, see an attractive woman with her eyes glued onto her latte and disappointment rushes into your soul. You don’t even have to look behind you to feel the guiltiness ready to invade your soul. Suddenly, you feel pain in your gut accompanied with extreme bowel movement, you are almost sure that one of your family members or a close friend has a nasty diarrhoea. You briefly think if you’re going insane as you might be the unstable one feeling all these emotions at once. You never know. But it’s time to leave. You come eye to eye with the waitress to ask for the bill. She gives out a genuine smile with genuine sorrow in her eyes. You pay the bill, smile, say thank you, and leave, making her wonder why she felt so good after an ordinary gesture from a total stranger. Outside, you wish you hugged her tightly. But our contemporary rules of society does not look good towards sincere hugs coming from strangers. You get home and think why you don’t have a kryptonite to make you powerless as a superhero. You pour yourself a glass of red wine… close enough although the colour is off.

Abortion of the Inner Child

Abortion of the Inner Child

innerchild

We are born as small, cute and cuddly creatures; totally naked as there’s nothing to hide or be ashamed of, in this new, alien world. Soon as we start growing up, we display our emotions in the forms of genuine laughters or cries as honesty is always default at earlier ages. We are amazed by fireworks, cartoons etc. and believe in fairies, angels, monsters…

As children, we have huge dreams although our under-grown bodies have very limited capabilities. We are taught how to poop for instance. We think we can accomplish anything, but we are never given a chance. Our dreams get older and wither much faster than our bodies and brains.

Just as we reach our golden ages, we find out that we have to go to school and blend with the society and its unspoken rules. Just like all the junk in Pandora’s box, school teaches us useful stuff like reciting the periodic table!, as well as what’s right according to them and how to lie. All the contents of the education box are unleashed into our spongy, egg-shelled minds. Still, it never teaches us how to make deep, honest connections with others and be happy in life.

Late school era friendships start relying on selfish and personal interests. Most of us have friends so that we can show the world we are better than our buddies. We become jealous beings which will actually be the force that drives us into struggling to achieve so-called success in later life.

We graduate. We get jobs, routine becomes our thing. We work hard to afford things we don’t really need. We get bored and boring at the same time and start judging the few people, who are still clinging onto their dreams and inner child, as being immature and not acting their age. Perhaps it’s the big ball of fury and jealousy they have against us (Yes, I am with child) just because they have had an untimely abortion of their inner child.

We finally reach an age when most people expect us to die. It’s only then, we revert back to our childhood and do stuff which is considered stupid by the norms of the modern society. Luckily, old age is a great excuse to be truly ourselves just like back when we were children. But, in fact we have missed a whole chunk (the long, middle part) of our lives. The inner child has been reborn but sadly it doesn’t have much time now as it’s connected to our physical bodies. We never die alone in the end.

Magic ceased to exist for most people long ago whereas it’s all around us… just give a long hug to an upset person without uttering gibberish like “I know what you feel” or talk to your plants daily and observe the change. We are all magicians if we believe we are.

So, next time you see a child disguised in an adult meat suit,

…helplessly trying to tie their trainers…

Or…

…gaping with awe to their surroundings in a toddler’s toy shop…

Or…

…smiling upon listening to a well-known fairy tale they had heard 100 times before…

Or…

…cooking in the messiest way possible…

Just look them in the eye and hug them.

Love is all we need after all.

The Divine Emotions Factory

The Divine Emotions Factory
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Somewhere over the rainbow… in the divine emotions factory…. naked bodies of various races, sexes and builts with freshly installed souls move on an angelic conveyor belt, waiting for basic and advanced emotions to be imprinted into their existence. The invisible tattooing of the soul… The final ingredients to be implemented before we’re dispatched into the battlegrounds called life… In full armour… To take place in a losing battle…

 

Each body with a semi-blank soul armed only with fear, surprise and disgust reaches the ultimate needle at the end of its short journey… where more advanced emotions like jealousy, wrath and happiness (P.S: Paul Ekman was wrong.) are engraved… But, just like a tri-colour ink cartridge that went totally dry, the needle penetrates the soul with no outcome other than pain…

 

The angel in charge must have taken a piss. They pee, too… The damage is done in pee time… Where did you think all that rain came from? (It’s a pity that cheesiness is just built into every soul by default…)

 

Just before the dispatch, the horrendous error is acknowledged… It would be like sending an egg-shell-minded,defenseless child into a warzone. But, luckily there’s a hack:

 

Jealousy: Ignored completely…
Wrath: Rerouted to self…
Happiness: Reprogrammed to be copied from other souls…

 

An empath is born…

 

But the world is still not a better place…

Being Super-Empaths: A Blessing or a Curse…

Being Super-Empaths: A Blessing or a Curse…

empath-definition-wide

Being an empath is not a gift… it’s not a curse, either. It’s both: A cursed gift. It can’t be earned or learned. You’re simply born that way…

 

“Once an empath, always an empath.”

 

My earliest memory of my place in this world regarding the reason of my existence in this universe was to make people around me smile or laugh. That was a 5-year-old boys definition of happiness. I would charge up with each joyous gesture as if refueled in the most environmentally-friendly way possible, and if people around me got “happy”, I would be, too. And if I witnessed something bad happening on TV films or news, I would cry like hell. I was soon labelled as an “emotional” kid due to my infrequent bursts into tear, never taking into account all the laughter I’d created around me.

 

As I grew up and got old enough to be involved in romantic relationships, my reason of existence had evolved into making my partners and friends truly happy as I learned my lesson that smiles and laughs could easily be faked. I had become a non-lethal, emotional vampire making its prey ultra happy to feed on. But, I wasn’t sucking the bliss out of them, I was simply planting it at first, then nourishing it, mimicking it, and finally duplicating the emotion for my own personal use. And like every other empath, I was drawn to mentally unstable people with emotional scars or f*cked up minds (or rather they picked me; as empaths are always excellent listeners minus the judging or simply just because we’re “beacons of hope” for the lost and confused). I had declared a losing war against all the negative feelings that a human mind could house.

 

As I reached my middle ages, making people happy became a near-impossible job. The world we were living in, with human connection gradually fading away, was making damn sure about that. Seeds of happiness (or simply reasons of happiness) were very rare to come by in other people let alone successfully completing the whole process of planting, nourishing, mimicking and duplication. Then, it hit me!

 

Super-Empaths like myself, can never generate feelings on their own. We are simply master duplicators of feelings. Meaning, we could never be happy (or have any other feeling) on our own unless we make someone happy first. It’s a hard to swallow fact, because if we can’t make anyone happy, we start feeling how they feel regardless of the physical distance in-between. Once a friend told me to stay away as she did not want me to make me feel down by her negative feelings. Well, feelings just don’t walk to infect… They teleport.

 

“When an empath tells someone that they know how they feel… they are partially right as empaths do not know how people feel, they feel how people feel.”

 

So, I feel Super-Empaths are not human as they they (we) lack the ability to create original emotions within. We are dependent on other people to be able to experience those duplicated, alien feelings…

 

We are a dying breed… and will cease to exist as the last speck of bliss withers away from this world…

The Overuse of Lexical Items in Describing Emotions

stop saying like

Language has never stopped evolving as more new words are added to the lexical pool every passing day. We are now using more words than ever, to express ourselves fully to one another. But, is it all necessary? Or are we simply dulling our senses and devolving ourselves, restricted by the limits of language itself?

In face-to-face encounters, language loses most of its function as actions take over the role of wordly structures. We never describe our actions in wordly forms when what we are doing at any given moment is so obvious. Imagine you’re in a cafe with someone, do you ever need the urge to make sentences like: “I’m now holding the cup of coffee with my left hand, preparing to take a sip.”?

Of course not, as each person is equipped with a behavioral decoder of their own. But, then again, why do we use words to describe our emotions to the other person accross the same table; saying we are happy, upset, depressed or scared… Have we disconnected and devolved so much that we can’t decode emotions without the aid of words anymore?

The joy of hugging someone and transferring our emotions in a silent harmony is what we should have been doing all along. “Wordless” does not mean it’s “worthless”, it’s just more. It’s actually feeling for each other.

We are taught to “apologize”, “praise”, “confront”, “encourage” and “congratulate” each other even before we start school… but even the words picked for such actions are random letters in tiresome, long sequences, …. difficult even to pronounce let alone understand each other’s feelings.

In writing good fiction, there’s one fundamental rule: “Show, don’t tell.” How come “showing” is more appreciated than “telling in words” at a medium where the reader and the writer is almost never in the same place?
Showing, not telling adds great value to writing, so,  perhaps, we should implement this rule to our daily lives for a change to enhance our personal relationships.

Finally,

Who is the culprit for demoting our emotions, then?

Is it the gibberish rules of society we are dictated since birth?

Is it the technological advancements causing the daily rush we find ourselves in, to get pointless things done in little time?

Is it because we are becoming more and more selfish and ignorant?

Whatever the cause, it is never late to share our feelings in an entangling bundle of limbs, enclosing two hearts within…

The Addiction to Fear

The reason why the human race has survived for so long is rooted in our basic instincts; our sugar-coated emotions. Feeling disgust, for instance, may make you want to puke every time you experience it, but in reality it’s one those feelings that can easily save your life. Would you drink your own piss, eat your own excrement or hug a leper? No, right? (if you do enjoy such activities, you can skip this section and proceed to the next one below). If we hadn’t had such an effective defense mechanism, we would have been long wiped out by diseases or infections rather than surviving by running away from things which might have harmed us.

Fear is another, useful instinctive feeling that has saved our lives numerous times and ensured the survival of us all. Yet again, it may not be our most favorable emotion but it sure is a steel wall of defense, protecting us every time it emerges. We may not be running away from wild animals in the age of technology, but we still have those friendly, vital shivers when push comes to shove. Fear unfolds our true character and unmasks our soul. Stripped out of our behavioral armor, only then we transform into our purest form.

Being scared is good and healthy for our own good. Observing other people in fear teaches us about those who conceal themselves under a deep web of fake emotions… when you’re in fear, you can never run away from your true self and that is why I am addicted to fear…

Fractions of a single soul

Fractions of a single soul

There are about 7 billion people (if not more) dominating our planet with each of them having some uniqueness although we are not all that different. Each person has the same capacity to learn regardless of gender, age or race. It’s the conditions that we’re born into that defines our inclination and motivation to reach success easily. Provide the ultimate conditions to everyone equally than we will realize that we are more than alike. We are not sisters or brothers… we are the same – the pieces of a single, shattered entity: The fragments of a single soul. 

Here are some points to back up my theory:

1. Think of drops of water and an ocean. Are the drops individual or is the ocean one? or are drops just fragments of the huge ocean?

2. We are stronger when we are together or act in numbers just like bees in a colony, working for their society. There’s always a hive queen among us that we dedicate our lives to even if we are not aware; sometimes in the form of a boss, a strong love interest or a common parent. They are the brain and we are the body, working to ensure its survival.

3. We seem like individuals but in reality we are highly social beings (even bragging requires at least one more person) Perhaps we are always longing for the missing fragments we got separated from.

4. Hatred is taught to us, just as love is. So, we all start life from the same point as newborns. We take different paths as we are taught in the process. 

5. We all suffer the same, but show our pain differently as if some people got more emotions while others got more endurance and immunity towards such pain maybe because we were shattered into unequal pieces.

6. Even in language, the word “everyone” is singular despite it includes every single person.

Still not convinced?

Then, put the flora and the fauna into the mix and reconsider. Perhaps, we are just one big planet and we have tinier roles in existence.