Redefining the Laws of Attraction for Love for the Modern Society

Redefining the Laws of Attraction for Love for the Modern Society

attraction

Warning: The following article has little or no relation to “Laws of attraction for the universe”

This piece of writing is all about how we pick our partners in relationships, how we fake ourselves and reflect a desired version of ourselves much like a peacock in its prime. At first, we tend to show others what we are actually not. Then, try hard to change each other in our image of a perfect partner, but weren’t their initial qualities what attracted us in the first place?

What we are trying to do in our romantic endeavors, fits Marcel Proust’s definition of love:

No doubt very few people understand the purely subjective nature of the phenomenon that we call love, or how it creates, so to speak, a supplementary person, distinct from the person whom the world knows by the same name, a person most of whose constituent elements are derived from ourselves.”

Anyway,

How is it that we are attracted to certain people right away?

Is it…

the first sight?
the initial smell?
the very first touch?
their intellect? … sense of humor?
the way they talk?… walk?… smile?
having the same interests and dreams?
sharing similar agonies and suffering the same way?

 

Or… is it the combination of some of the above?

 

I believe everyone has their own subconscious priorities when it comes to attraction. However, in the era of social media, our priorities can easily be fooled…

Here’s why:

Sight or looks:

The importance of sight or looks should have come to an end as everyone looks good nowadays; taking advantage of technology, filters, editing on top of the freedom of being able to take many shots before choosing the most unnatural one and posting it online. This also makes the competition fierce as illusion surpasses beauty and the unlucky ones are the hidden beauties with little or no competence in photo editing…

It was extensive makeup, smart clothes and outstanding photo angles in the last couple of decades, but now it’s all combined with social media photo skills…

Smell:

Each one of us has their own distinct smell mostly regarding what we eat and how often we bath. As vanilla scented thugs and flora reeking divas roam the streets, frequent bathers preferring to use soap when bathing and wearing no perfume afterwards are on the losing side of the attraction war. But, perfume is like a mask. Nobody can wear it 24/7. The revelation of sour cheese aromatic feet and uncooked onion flavoured arm pits bring us to our senses after a warm, sunny day outdoors.

Intellect, interests and dreams:

Nobody wants to go on a date with a dumb person, so people tend to over exaggerate their intellectual levels by either talking about their field of expertise all the time or blabbering about a recent post they came across on the internet without fact checking.

As newly flirting couples discover how similar their interests are, they’re immediately drawn to their partner with a magical bond. They think they have found their soul mates… but little do they know that each person is making up some of the stuff only to be liked by their partner. Sharing the same dreams is more or less the same. “Dreams can change” is just a lame excuse.

But… it’s not all bad as there are things where we can’t be fooled…

Like a surprise genuine smile, a soul penetrating gaze and touch… When we hug someone and enclose their bodies into ours, we just feel if the person’s feelings are genuine or not, thanks to softly twitching muscles under the meat suit that we barely feel or the equally overwhelming hug-back we receive. Try to caress the house cat and feel it hum like a generator under your touch to feel the full sensation.

Any relationship based on the initial falsified versions of both parties tend to fail miserably in the end. Our feelings for the love of our lives expire just like some stale crackers long forgotten at the back of kitchen shelves as our true images take over. We show a different, a fake version of ourselves to others initially and ironically expect the others not to do that to us. We idolize our deepest fantasies not the people who are only human after all. Unfortunately, the candle lit by a fake (person) in a pitch black night can only survive until the daylight.

The moral?

There’s no moral if we just stick to our seemingly boring ourselves right from the beginning so that we don’t have to pretend afterwards.

A Touch of Existence

At extremely rare times, especially when you start to think friendship is an empty shell, love is just for the show and every other relationship relies on mutual greed, someone really special pops right into your life and once again restores your faith in humanity.

 

But, how?

 

How does that special person come into existence?

 

Can it be magic?

 

 

Hardly. As magic is all about spells, dragons, rituals and enchantments in long forgotten languages.

 

Fate?

 

Nope. Fate is a way of escape for the hopeless to justify the doings of life or what they haven’t done. It also promotes negativity beyond its surface.

 

Divine intervention?

 

See Fate above. Minus the negativity.

 

Sheer luck?

 

Not really. Luck is highly associated with unexpected financial growth in our era (and again with no personal effort involved).

 

Whatever the reason might be, that special one will always find you…guide you through life as if magic, fate, God’s intervention and sheer luck, are all working together in a weird combination.

 

In my whole life, such people (angels?) penetrated right into my egg-shelled shield at the rightest times. One goes away and another one comes right in like changing shifts with none of them ever disappearing from my life.

 

I love you all…

 

Thank you for existing.

 

CAST : (In Order of Appearance)

 

R.D
E.T (Not the alien)
A.D
M.K
A.U
A.U (Not a typo, another one)
D.C.Y
B.B (Special thanks to her)
P.B
P.O
B.K

 

and finally

 

A.G

 

Stay existing…

Acceptance All the Way

img_self-acceptance_hands-heart

We, humans (Hereinafter referred to as “insatiable morons”) are nearly impossible to please and satisfy even if everything goes on the rightest track. To put it more simply; we might find the weather in summer scorching while the same “we”, have no trouble cursing when it’s freezing in winter. And it’s not only atmospheric conditions that makes the “insatiable morons” feel that way. We can buy the latest gadget we’d been craving for… and then plunge into huge debts to buy the upgraded new model with specifications that we know we’ll never use. We boost through life with an attention span of fish, yet the brief happy moments of our lives we are meant to enjoy, fade away before we can even comprehend.

When it comes to romantic affairs, we are usually stunned by our counterparts as soon as we set eyes upon them. We would do anything to be with them. Yet, when we finally do, the magic disappears. We work hard to shape our loved ones into what we want, but didn’t we fall in love with the original in the first place? Now that we got what we wanted, why the desire for total transformation? Love is not toxic, we are! Are we so glamoured by the wrapping paper of the product that soon after we have it, we rip off what we’d fallen in love with and throw it right into the bin?

Change is unavoidable and almost imminent, but it’s also controllable. So, in your next relationship (or in your current one), work on to change things for the good. Keep in mind, once it starts, change never stops and the person you love will surely become someone you hate.

Embrace love, accept it fully and let it find its own way…

The Overuse of Lexical Items in Describing Emotions

stop saying like

Language has never stopped evolving as more new words are added to the lexical pool every passing day. We are now using more words than ever, to express ourselves fully to one another. But, is it all necessary? Or are we simply dulling our senses and devolving ourselves, restricted by the limits of language itself?

In face-to-face encounters, language loses most of its function as actions take over the role of wordly structures. We never describe our actions in wordly forms when what we are doing at any given moment is so obvious. Imagine you’re in a cafe with someone, do you ever need the urge to make sentences like: “I’m now holding the cup of coffee with my left hand, preparing to take a sip.”?

Of course not, as each person is equipped with a behavioral decoder of their own. But, then again, why do we use words to describe our emotions to the other person accross the same table; saying we are happy, upset, depressed or scared… Have we disconnected and devolved so much that we can’t decode emotions without the aid of words anymore?

The joy of hugging someone and transferring our emotions in a silent harmony is what we should have been doing all along. “Wordless” does not mean it’s “worthless”, it’s just more. It’s actually feeling for each other.

We are taught to “apologize”, “praise”, “confront”, “encourage” and “congratulate” each other even before we start school… but even the words picked for such actions are random letters in tiresome, long sequences, …. difficult even to pronounce let alone understand each other’s feelings.

In writing good fiction, there’s one fundamental rule: “Show, don’t tell.” How come “showing” is more appreciated than “telling in words” at a medium where the reader and the writer is almost never in the same place?
Showing, not telling adds great value to writing, so,  perhaps, we should implement this rule to our daily lives for a change to enhance our personal relationships.

Finally,

Who is the culprit for demoting our emotions, then?

Is it the gibberish rules of society we are dictated since birth?

Is it the technological advancements causing the daily rush we find ourselves in, to get pointless things done in little time?

Is it because we are becoming more and more selfish and ignorant?

Whatever the cause, it is never late to share our feelings in an entangling bundle of limbs, enclosing two hearts within…

The pros and the pros of dating friends

The attraction to physical beauty makes only one side of the three-dimensional medallion in dating: The rim and the edge; the almost nonexistent part. The rest is all about honesty, trust, mutual understanding and having fun in whatever a couple is doing (from having sex to watching the grass grow in shared silence). Those qualities listed above create the chemistry between couples more than anything else. 

Nowadays, more and more people seek only their desired physical qualities in their partners… but that is never enough on its own. If that was the case, people would wildly date Picasso paintings or the full moon in a pitch black night, as that’s the real beauty in its purest form.

Becoming friends with a loved-one first is a must although there is always the risk of falling into the friend zone. But the concept of “being in the friend zone” was invented by those who have never experienced the pleasures of such a relationship in the first place. They accuse you of “trying to screw a friend” when there are so many other ways that you can screw a friend, which are far more destructive. 

I am not implying on dating every friend you have. However, the tiniest physical attraction you might have towards a friend is just a start in having the relationship of your life…

And on the plus side, you never get to lose your friend even if the romantic endeavor is over, as friends tend to stay in your life no matter what.

Trust me! I have experience….

Why do we kiss?

Just observe the world. You will not find one animal that kisses its partner to demonstrate its affection. Fish, birds, gazelles don’t do it and no, your cat or dog is not kissing you. It might be touching you with its mouth because you hug its head in point blank range and its mouth just touches your skin. It’s inevitable. And plants… they certainly can’t kiss each other. So, that leaves us…humans; the only kind that kisses others for pleasure. But why do we do it? Is it just an unavoidable perk of evolution or is there something deeper behind all that kissing?

Here are some thoughts:

1. Kissing violates personal space. The no go zone is conquered in the most pleasant way.

2. All your senses are heightened as you approach your partner for a kiss; the eyes have microscopic view of the loved one’s facial features although they also contribute to spoiling of the eyes if you keep them open during the time, the nose picks up smells that normally vanishes into the air when there’s distance, the ears can hear sounds of affection, the touch is performed by one of the most sensitive organs (the lips) and the taste? The lips and the tongue can make you experience flavors you’ve never experienced before as everyone has a different flavor. 

3. Kissing is good for the immune system as partners exchange thousands of bacteria which strengthen each other’s immune system. However, I highly doubt we kiss for medical concerns.

4. Kissing each body part has a different meaning; the lips show romantic affection, the hands demonstrate respect and the butt (not literally) tells a lot about a person’s lowly character (kissing the butt literally just shows you have a kind of weird fetish)…

And finally, kissing improves the memory! The first romantic kiss is never forgotten as it marks your transcourse from infancy to puberty….

I remember my first kiss like it was yesterday (although it happened more than a quarter century before) Her name was Rosemary, a Dutch, red-headed gal who put me over the clouds for at least a week. 

So, if you would like to share your story of your first kiss, please feel free to comment…

Fractions of a single soul

Fractions of a single soul

There are about 7 billion people (if not more) dominating our planet with each of them having some uniqueness although we are not all that different. Each person has the same capacity to learn regardless of gender, age or race. It’s the conditions that we’re born into that defines our inclination and motivation to reach success easily. Provide the ultimate conditions to everyone equally than we will realize that we are more than alike. We are not sisters or brothers… we are the same – the pieces of a single, shattered entity: The fragments of a single soul. 

Here are some points to back up my theory:

1. Think of drops of water and an ocean. Are the drops individual or is the ocean one? or are drops just fragments of the huge ocean?

2. We are stronger when we are together or act in numbers just like bees in a colony, working for their society. There’s always a hive queen among us that we dedicate our lives to even if we are not aware; sometimes in the form of a boss, a strong love interest or a common parent. They are the brain and we are the body, working to ensure its survival.

3. We seem like individuals but in reality we are highly social beings (even bragging requires at least one more person) Perhaps we are always longing for the missing fragments we got separated from.

4. Hatred is taught to us, just as love is. So, we all start life from the same point as newborns. We take different paths as we are taught in the process. 

5. We all suffer the same, but show our pain differently as if some people got more emotions while others got more endurance and immunity towards such pain maybe because we were shattered into unequal pieces.

6. Even in language, the word “everyone” is singular despite it includes every single person.

Still not convinced?

Then, put the flora and the fauna into the mix and reconsider. Perhaps, we are just one big planet and we have tinier roles in existence.